If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
