The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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