when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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