I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
nutella sex= disaster
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
