I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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