I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
