So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
