so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Its about making memories worth repressing
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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