I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
