Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize