he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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