im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
