Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
this is an emotional support booty call
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your penis caused this!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
