Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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