Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
