Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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