Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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