Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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