he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
