You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
