Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
even my farts smell like vagina
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize