A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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