4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
