I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
