Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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