Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
