gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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