yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
