We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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