What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
