And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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