Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
