That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
