i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
