What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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