If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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