Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
