my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
