FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
