dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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