doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
