Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
