Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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