Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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