dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
