Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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