tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
