the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...