Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...