Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

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(315): View more from New York

he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

(607): View more from New York

what a beautiful fairy tale

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(248): View more from Michigan

I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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(707): View more from California

I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

And I can feel feelings now and they hurt

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(815): View more from Illinois

The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...

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