All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges