Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

  (917): View more from New York City

  Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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  (917): Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now (917): Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway http://tfl.nu/aof1
  Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (1348)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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  (214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute http://tfl.nu/955u
  Replies (12) Good night (1087) Bad night (1621)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3923) Bad night (666)
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  (661): View more from California

  i wish semen tasted like chocolate

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  (661): i wish semen tasted like chocolate http://tfl.nu/nknz
  Replies (61) Good night (8197) Bad night (1236)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3653) Bad night (1083)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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  (405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6
  Replies (13) Good night (3758) Bad night (1142)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned

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  (330): come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned http://tfl.nu/3008
  Replies (9) Good night (5484) Bad night (999)
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  (818): View more from California

  you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.

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  (818): you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel. http://tfl.nu/uvlc
  Replies (11) Good night (2798) Bad night (853)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1872) Bad night (659)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (442)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.

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  (202): I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in. http://tfl.nu/a062
  Replies (21) Good night (1546) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.

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  (781): Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes. http://tfl.nu/e45r
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me

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  (262): Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me http://tfl.nu/65gs
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (247)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.

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  (757): I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me. http://tfl.nu/xol6
  Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can only rely on you and Taco Bell

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  (205): I can only rely on you and Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/u0ns
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (204)

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