PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize