I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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