'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
