I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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