How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
