I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
