how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
