sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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