Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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