Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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