FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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