I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
