tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
