Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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