i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
