I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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