No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Drake has all the answers
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
