I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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