I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
