NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras