Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods